Life is Long and Short
CHELSEY KAPUSCINSKI
Founder of Brooklyn Mindbody, Certified Rolfer®, Thai Bodyworker, Physiyoga Teacher
Trigger warning: passing away
On Thursday, October 31st, just shy of midnight, I was up scrolling through Facebook and I happened to see that a Rolfing colleague, Stefan Knight, had suddenly passed away due to a failed liver transplant. He leaves behind his wife and two young sons. He was 52 years old, the owner of a Pilates and Bodywork studio in Martha’s Vineyard. I met Stefan at my first Rolf Movement training in 2020 in New Hampshire, which was a life changing week for me in which I realized in a deep, experiential way how my chronic back pain (and many others' body pain) was a deeply somatic problem with inspiring solutions that come from how we engage our minds.
Death is a time machine. As soon as I read this tragic news, I was instantly transported back into vivid moments of interaction that I'd had with Stefan during that weeklong workshop. I remembered his quiet kindness, his complete presence, his grounded confidence. I remembered admiring his success in what he had built. I remembered that he seemed so healthy, so vital, just 4 years ago.
The next day, I was speaking to my husband on the phone. 12 years my senior, he tells me about the grays sprouting into his beard with the vigor of weeds popping up in the garden. He complains about the age spots around his eyes - “one for every year he’s gone to Burning Man,” I joke. I, too, am looking older (I’m actually winning out over him in the grays department).
We sweet, mortal humans tend to complain about age and all the changes that it brings.
We’re keen on viewing these changes as inconveniences, as though we are becoming paradoxically “less than” even as we gain so much more in the way of experience, insight, maturity, clarity, groundedness, evolution, wisdom.
And the truth is, friends, that life is long
and short.
The truth is, not a single one of us is guaranteed any more time than what we have right now.
Being able to age is a GIFT which not one of us is guaranteed; our control over the receipt of this gift is limited; and we definitely will not have unlimited access to it.
I don’t say any of this to sound dreary or macabre. While I myself feel the weight of what I am saying, I find that there’s also a growing expansiveness right in the middle of my chest as I say it. Because in realizing this truth, I realize how very precious life is. I notice myself wanting to become more present and alive in this moment, to let go of pettiness and orient to that which is pleasant and feed THAT with my attention; to really see, hear, feel, taste, and touch; and to commit to this practice of presence as religion. Buddha reminded us that the present moment is the only moment when life is available to us.
We can choose to engage in this practice because it gets us out of our heads and into our bodies and breath, which only exist right here and now. We do it because it can improve our relationships with self and others and leads to real living. We do it because it feels good.
We don’t need to have all our shit together, or stop fighting the good fights (especially now), or inhabit a fictional perfect world in order to practice. In fact, this is a micro-macro practice that can support greater world peace and the getting together of shit, because it puts us back in touch with the reality of THIS moment while offering us a much needed chance to refuel our sense of calm centeredness.
I've been enjoying this meditation from
Thich Nhat Hanh:
Friends, if you feel moved to join me in extending kindness to support Stefan’s family so that they can grieve with less financial burden, you are welcome to donate to their GoFundMe.
ABOUT CHELSEY KAPUSCINSKI
As a holistic bodyworker certified in Rolfing, Thai Bodywork and Yoga, Chelsey aims to recognize and treat the deep interconnected roots of each client’s ailments. She hopes to evoke curiosity, exploration and agency as she works together with her clients to help them feel and move well so they can live their best lives. Chelsey’s work has produced profound and lasting improvements in mobility, pain, posture, energy, somatic healing, and self-awareness.